Can You Change Your Mind About Adoption?

Who makes the final decision about an adoption? 

The birth mother always has the final say in an adoption, no matter what. Adoption is not final until the birth mother signs the adoption agreement following the birth, which is a legally binding contract. Although adoption laws vary from state to state, there is usually a period of time that is set aside post delivery before a birth mother is allowed or advised to sign any paperwork. This gives birth mothers at least some time to recover and an opportunity to change their minds if necessary. 

How do I know if adoption is right for me? 

The only way to know if adoption is right for you is to set aside time to reflect on what your needs and desires are–for yourself and your child. There are many factors that may determine whether or not adoption is the best choice for you, including practical considerations such as finances, age, family support, and other life circumstances. 

Why do some birth mothers choose adoption? 

• Financial: The birth mother cannot afford to give her child a safe, loving home and chooses adoption to give her baby a better life. 
• Abortion is not an option: There are many reasons why birth mothers choose adoption over abortion, whether because of religious beliefs or because it’s too late to terminate the pregnancy. 
• Timing: Some women choose adoption because they aren’t ready to become mothers - for emotional or financial reasons. Sometimes motherhood would mean having to give up on a long-held dream or an important opportunity, such as finishing college. 

Do I have to decide before I speak with an adoption lawyer? 

No. Any meeting you have with an adoption agency or law firm should be 100% free from any feelings of obligation or pressure to make a decision. 

What happens if I change my mind? 

Prospective adoptive parents understand adoption's financial and emotional risks, knowing ahead of time that things don't always go as planned. It is, however, important to be honest with your adoption team about any change of heart you may have as soon as possible, to prevent disappointment for both parties. 

That being said, no one can prepare themselves for how giving birth will affect them, and everyone involved with adoption should be prepared for things to change at the last minute. As the birth mother, it is your right to change your mind, no matter what, no matter how much time, money, or energy has been invested in creating an adoption plan.

It’s important to know that adoption is legally binding once the adoption paperwork has been signed and that an adoption cannot be contested in many states unless the birth mother was pressured into signing, which is something that should never happen.