WHAT IF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY DON’T AGREE WITH MY DECISION TO GIVE MY BABY UP FOR ADOPTION?

It is great when expectant pregnant mothers have friends and family that are supportive of their decision to place their baby for adoption. But oftentimes when you tell your family of your decision to make an adoption plan, everyone wants to provide their opinion.  Some pregnant moms are private about their decision and instead choose to tell strangers that they are acting as a surrogate. The truth of the matter is that unless anyone is going to be actively supporting you in raising the baby or has been in your exact situation, they should not pressure you on your choice.

Why Are They Like This?

The simple answer is that they often don’t understand adoption and their upbringing comes into play. Perhaps they do not have all the facts about adoption and are making snap judgments. Or it could be that they fear you will bear a lot of hurt and stress over your decision. Educating your family and friends is the best way to help them understand it better.

Society has put stress on people who get pregnant and want to allow another family to provide for the child. It is ingrained that it is best for a child to stay with the mother, regardless of her emotions and capabilities. Slowly, these attitudes are changing but even amongst the most understanding, it can become a shock when it’s close to home.

How To Cope

It is not easy when family and friends contribute to the stress of your decision. Having some coping tools in place is what will be most helpful. Here is what you can do to get through this:

• Write letters to individuals – you don’t have to give it to them so say what you need to and you won’t hurt anyone
• Share with them adoption info that you receive along the way.
• Know when to pick your battles, not everyone wants to listen
• Have a therapist or unbiased person to talk with, they could help you cope
• Set boundaries on when you will talk about it, it doesn’t have to rule every conversation

Let Us Support You

We are available to speak with your support system and they can ask us any questions they may have.  It is likely they are just coming from a place of concern for you and the baby and are just worried. Once they have all the facts you may find that they too will agree that adoption is a wonderful and loving option.  The fact is that most birth mothers do not regret their decision in making an adoption plan. People who truly understand adoption know that it is not giving up a baby for adoption but rather making a loving decision to provide your baby with a stable future, financial opportunities, and extra love.   At Juliana Gaita, P.A. we provide the emotional support you need during this process with a counselor who specializes in adoption available to you to meet weekly and/or as needed and can also speak with your support system as well.

You can call, text, or email us at any time with any questions to speak to an adoption specialist. Call or Text: 561-869-3703 or email [email protected].  We answer our office phone 24/7.