Birth Mothers Choosing Adoptive Parents: Everything You Need To Prepare For Your First Meeting

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Preparing to Meet The Adoptive Parents After Deciding On Adoption

As part of the matching process, you may want to meet the adoptive parents before you match with them or you may be meeting them after you have already matched. You are not obligated to meet adoptive parents ahead of time but some moms want to.  If both parties agree to the meeting then our office helps facilitate that. It is totally normal for all sides to feel a little nervous prior to the meeting. 

For an expectant mother making the decision to choose adoption for your child might be a difficult choice, but connecting with your matched family will help put you at ease throughout the process. 

At Florida Adoption Lawyers, this is something we deal with quite often and in this post, we’ll summarize what you can expect.

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Birth Mothers Choosing Adoptive Parents: Everything You Need To Prepare For Your First Meeting 12

Preparing For The First Meeting With Adoptive Parents

The initial meeting may be a little awkward or it may feel completely normal and you just click like old friends.  This first meeting is important because it is the start of a mutually beneficial relationship, but that doesn’t mean it will feel like your first time going to a concert and over time you can expect to become more comfortable. You are building a lifetime relationship so no matter how the first meeting goes, it takes time to build a connection.  Sometimes the first meeting may be in person, by phone or by Zoom.

Try not to worry about making a good impression or saying the right things. The first meeting is a time for you to start to get to know each other.  A good tip is to have the first meeting set for 20-30 minutes- short and sweet.  We recommend that there is more than one meeting so that you can truly get to know the potential adoptees.

You can come with questions for the adoptive parents

It’s ok to come with a list of questions you may have and it can even help to get the conversation flowing. It’s natural to want to ask questions. Your adoption specialist will be ready with some ice-breaker questions so it doesn’t feel like an interview.

One of my most favorite questions an expectant mom asked the prospective adoptive mom was “what is your favorite color?” It took everyone a little by surprise as an unexpected question, given the seriousness of the meeting but it’s a fun and easy question to answer and the parties could elaborate on why their chosen color was their favorite so everyone got to talking and even knowing each other a little better, from there the conversation just flowed! 

In the first meeting, avoid talking about finances. It is a touchy subject and can be off-putting for both parties. Don’t be afraid to ask about their lifestyle. Are they road-trippers? Do they prefer to stay home and enjoy movies on the weekends? Are they athletic? What people do with their free time can reveal a lot about who they are as people. It can help you understand if the child will get the best exposure to the world.

Sharing photos is natural

Having photos to show is something that can also help to alleviate tension and put everyone at ease. Bring pictures of your other children (if you have them), the birth father, and pictures of you as a baby or your family members. These are all things the prospective adoptive family will love to see and share with you.

You can also request that the prospective adoptees bring photographs of their own. Get to know what their holidays are and how they celebrate. You can get a clearer understanding of their hobbies and the things they really like through photographs.  

Although you’ve heard it before, being yourself is going to be the best way to make a great first impression.  And don’t worry, your adoption specialist will be at the meeting to help guide everyone and to guide the conversation.

Florida Adoption Lawyers Can Answer Your Questions

Don’t feel ashamed, scared or bashful, we are here for you and can help guide you through the process of matching and meeting with adoptive parents. If you want more information on making an adoption plan and choosing adoption for your baby call or text our office 24/7 561-869-3703.

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