Coping with Your Decision to Place Your Child for Adoption

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Even if you know in your heart that placing your child for adoption is the right choice, doing so can still be a difficult and emotional process. It is natural to experience many different feelings during and after your pregnancy, including feelings of doubt or regret. It is important to find ways to cope and find satisfaction with your decision post-adoption.

One study found that two main factors led to greater satisfaction with an adoption decision for birth mothers in the months and years following the adoption.

Working Full-Time

The study showed that women who worked full-time jobs after the adoption felt more secure in their decisions than those who did not. Dedication to work and careers can increase a sense of personal worth, which can often be threatened by an adoption. Earning a living can feel rewarding in different ways, though the satisfaction with adoption does not necessarily stem from a high paycheck. In fact, birth mothers who work full-time and struggle to pay their bills had an ongoing reminder that they likely made the right choice, as they likely would not have the means or time to properly care for the child.

coping skills with adoption
Coping with Your Decision to Place Your Child for Adoption 6

Open Adoptions

Open adoptions are becoming more and more common, which seems to be a positive trend for birth mothers. The study showed that open adoptions help to reassure birth mothers and ease the anxiety that they made the wrong choice of an adoptive family. Maintaining an agreed-upon level of contact – whether it is calls, letters, or in-person visits – can increase satisfaction with the birth mother’s adoption decision.

Coping Skills That Help

The important thing to remember is that you will feel a range of emotions and can handle them. You will struggle with fear, anger, denial, guilt, and shame over your decision. It is important to name your emotions and then set about to get through them.

You can:

  • Talk to a trusted friend 
  • Talk to a therapist
  • Distract yourself with something joyful
  • Write letters to your future self
  • Write letters to the baby
  • Take a walk
  • Journal your feelings

Consult with an Experienced Adoption Lawyer in Florida

The law office of Juliana Gaita, P.A., knows how important it is for birth mothers to feel comfortable and satisfied during and after the adoption process. We provide support for birth mothers, so please contact us to speak with a Florida adoption attorney today.