No doubt you have heard the phrase “giving a baby up for adoption.” Perhaps you have used that term before. It is widespread for birth parents, adoptive parents, and just about anyone without a lot of experience in adoptions to use that phrase. However, it is essential when discussing such an important topic to use correct and positive language. The idea that you are giving up a baby has some negative connotations, when in fact, you are not giving up but choosing something for your child and placing your child’s needs before your own. That is why in the adoption industry, you will not typically hear the professionals refer to giving up a baby for adoption. Instead, we like to use positive language such as choosing adoption or making an adoption plan. Planning to parent or planning to make a placement are choices that a woman has to make for herself and her baby, and we do not believe that one option is better than the other.
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Here on our site and as you research adoption, you will also see the phrase “birth mother” or “First Mother”. A birth mother is a woman who has placed her child for adoption. It is important that you be referred to in the terms that you are comfortable with throughout your process and as part of our intake we will go over the terms we generally used and what you are most comfortable with. The process is designed by our office to support you at whatever stage you are in this journey, whether just thinking about making an adoption plan to have placed your child for adoption.
Making an adoption plan is what you are doing. This plan is an act of love to provide the best for your baby. You are not giving up, you are doing something most people couldn’t.
No matter who adopts the child, they are always the child’s parent. To call them adoptive is hurtful as if they aren’t enough to be a parent. The same is said for referring to someone as an adopted daughter or son. It sends a negative message as if the child is not part of the family tree.
If someone chooses to not put their child into an adoption plan, they are not “keeping” the child. They are choosing to parent, just as the adoptive parents were going to choose to parent. Children are not possessions so we don’t keep them, we embrace them.
If you are considering adoption for your child, contact us so we can better advise you of your options and rights. You can call, text, or email us at any time with any questions. Call or Text: 561-869-3703 or email [email protected]. We answer our office phone 24/7.”